10 Minutes Before A Final Goodbye !

10, 9, 8…

We are all moments away from something new, the clock keeps ticking and ten minute later you will be leaving and I don’t have a reason to ask you to stay. I don’t have a heart-moving words; nor do I have a grand gesture to show you how much I care about you. I saw the entire universe of galaxies, and I thought of you. I wonder what my warm eyes were looking at, are they? Doting around the stars looking for someone to reciprocate the exhilaration that runs through my veins in form of memories of the year spent with you. May be I want to scream at the top of my lungs for everyone to hear or the confetti to be thrown from the clouds written with all these words that try to shine with sincerity.

7, 8, 6…

I’m sorry that I never wrote anything perfect for you so that I can give it to you, not even a simple goodbye. And truthfully, I don’t know what I would say in return if you wished me goodbye, the usual best of luck with your career and for your life. But if I could, I would have liked to tell you other things.

I would have liked to say that a perfect goodbye would be me giving these unsent letters and you reading these as if we are synchronized within the fabric of these letters and word. I would have wanted one beautiful memory of you before you left me, in small moments and instances stored inside my rib cage in form of that cheesy smile that slip past your lips and the scrawled natural world within every misplaced hair that covers those hazel eyes of yours. I would have wanted to say that I love every part of you even those aspects of yourself that you doubt and those you keep hidden. I would have liked to share every trauma that have been etched into your soul; but I don’t have that privilege. For once, I didn’t feel that waves of grief wash over me with their favorite flavor of bitterness and anger.

5, 4, 3…

I’m sorry mulled wine and champagne have lured me into thinking. I’m sorry that I have never written about you with beautiful words perfectly and for never telling you that I miss your outline every time I see you leaving me, I’m sorry that no one knows the taste of nostalgia that coats your complexion. I’m sorry for the way I acted once out of frustration, I’m sorry for missing you when I shouldn’t. I’m sorry for so many things; I’m sorry for being sorry.

I am aware that you will be gone after this blink of an eye. I’m aware that you never needed me as much as I wanted you to. I am aware that every blank pages that I stained with the feelings that holds me so tightly will never amount much into your life. I’m aware that you didn’t wish me birthday and reminded me that how little I meant to you. I am aware that I only have you in small moments. I am aware that this is the place we have reached, and I’m aware that this is where you will be gone on a different path never to cross again.

2…

Time will slip away through words and songs on earphone. All I can do is wish you well, and hope that I don’t just become a name to you, because you will always be more than that to me.

You will be always the one who stole my heart and became the mirror radiating aliveness into my soul.

1…

May be I didn’t deserved to be loved too. But if you have a pen, take a memo and note it down:

"Once you’re loved in your totality supremely with every fiber of mine."

0...

Because of that, I sincerely say this honest and final goodbye.

P.s:-  Probably the last post i'm writing under Love Dairy category. may be i don't have words to write anymore. It's been a really good run from last one year under this category. Thank you all for reading and bearing it <3. Maybe the benzos are sinking as well .